In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
