My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
