Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Duck Duck Cougar?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize