if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize