Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
