Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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