I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
nutella sex= disaster
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize