You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
