Non-Jews are for practice
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
