morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
