Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
