If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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