We're facebook friends in real life
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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