Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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