SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
my poor anus
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
