Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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