dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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