i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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