vagina is talking i cant
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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