I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
