i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
