I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This is classic penis vs brain.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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