Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love having hate sex.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize