My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
