Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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