i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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