I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
