at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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