I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize