I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
