Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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