I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
