all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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