oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
