call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
