and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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