Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
