I accidentally had phone sex last night
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
