I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
