exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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