I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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