Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
