Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
