sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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