Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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