Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
