..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
