I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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