party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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