The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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