My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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