i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
