I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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