You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
