He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
