I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hippo gnu deer
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
