I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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