It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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