please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
