Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
