i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
