At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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