What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
