he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
